We’ve had tears. We’ve had tantrums.
Celebrity Big Brother has proved to be just the kind of guilty pleasure-TV that cosy January nights in were made for.
This year’s house started out with all-female housemates, a move Channel 5 said was to celebrate the centenary of women over 30 being given the vote.
But it wasn’t long before they were joined by a few men – including Boyzone’s Shane Lynch, dancer Wayne Sleep and Love Island’s Jonny Mitchell.
In the interests of taste and decency, there are a few moments which we sadly can’t bring you in this highlights round-up, such as Rachel Johnson’s dance moves, Courtney Act’s apparent wardrobe malfunction and a conversation about drag queens and “tucking”.
But for those who need to catch up on the series, here’s a quick round-up of some of the other water cooler moments so far:
1. Andrew Brady as a drag queen
We’re not sure what Lord Sugar would’ve made of Betty Swollocks.
But former Apprentice candidate Andrew Brady’s drag alter-ego sure made for some entertaining television.
Sadly, India didn’t think so, sitting in silence and generally looking scared as a result of her apparent phobia of drag queens.
(Naturally, Twitter was quick to dredge up several historic photos of India with drag queens.)
2. Ann saying Meghan Markle is “trouble”
You may have heard about Prince Harry’s engagement to Meghan Markle in November – the pair are due to marry on 19 May.
But, in a conversation about the couple, Ann Widdecombe said she didn’t like Markle’s “background” or “attitude”.
“I worry. I add it all up and I’m uneasy,” she added.
But she faced a backlash from viewers, who were quick to jump to Markle’s defence.
3. Shane paying tribute to his former bandmate Stephen Gateley
Viewers took to social media to say they were tearing up shortly after Shane Lynch discussed the death of his former bandmate Stephen Gately in 2009.
“There will always be five [members of Boyzone],” Shane said. “Regardless of what you see, he will always be there.”
4. The debate about the Hollywood sexual abuse scandal
Ann and Amanda Barrie were firmly of the opinion that actresses could simply choose to decline if propositioned by a powerful Hollywood figure.
But Rachel, Malika Haqq and Jess Impiazzi said many stars, particularly when they’re young and less famous, feel under intense pressure in such situations.
5. India discussing gender reassignment surgery
Early in the series, India likened her transition from male to female felt “like having a tooth out,” adding how much of a “relief” it was becoming a woman after years of feeling “stressed and exhausted” as a man.
Ann was quick to share her own thoughts on having such surgery on the NHS, commenting: “Well the fact is the NHS can’t do everything, isn’t doing everything.
“And you’ve got to ask yourself what the priorities should be… match [gender reassignment surgery] with someone going blind, children with cancer.”
India argued it was the high suicide rates amongst transgender people meant that giving them such surgery for free was “money well spent”.
6. Big Brother means Brexit
Get any group of people together for more than five minutes these days and it’s inevitable that the conversation will eventually turn to Brexit.
During one discussion in the kitchen, Ann explained her decision for choosing to vote for the UK to leave the European Union, while Jess revealed that she didn’t actually vote.
“We’re celebrating 100 years of women having the vote,” Ann pointed out. “And you’ve just told me you didn’t bother voting?”
7. The ballad of Ginuwine and Ashley
Big Brother history is littered with romances – only last week Grace and Mikey, who got together on Big Brother in 2006, announced they were expecting their third child.
This time around, we have model and DJ Ashley James getting friendly with R&B singer Ginuwine.
She has already reassured him that she “doesn’t cheat” and the pair even discussed marriage (above).
At this rate we’re expecting children by Christmas.
8. The musical performances
Watching Ginuwine perform Pony as Ann Widdecombe watches on is certainly an early contender for cringiest TV moment of 2018 so far.
John Barnes’s World In Motion rap was also a wonderful sight to behold – but sadly both videos are absent from YouTube for music rights reasons.
(Possibly for the best.)
9. Ann leaving a party because the music is too loud
We all have that one friend.
“I have good hearing, and you [Big Brother] are trying to damage it. You have a duty of care.”
Having woken up hoarse after many an evening out, we do sympathise – but given Ann’s Strictly Come Dancing experience we can’t help but wish she’d thrown some shapes.